Lady Loud

Man, I feel tired! I've been in the Kyokushinkai system since 1992. Now my black belt exam is up (probably in june) and I have nothing to give. I feel tired and frustraded. How do I achieve my next grade?! In my early years things were so easy. Show up to "work", do as your sifu tells you, go home and be happy.

I don't feel happy.
I feel like screaming or throwing stuff around. I don't have a sifu or sempai. I have noone to show me my techniques, my katas, give me hints and tips on building my strenght and speed. The closest black belt is 170 kilometers away. I see him once a year. There is noone in our club who has a black belt degree yet, we have to pull ourselves up by the hair (explains my hair...).

I feel owerworked, yet do nothing. I'll go break some pottery now.